Friday, October 15, 2004

78 days: In one of those moods

Just thinking about stuff today, as usual I think I think too much....

But was just feeling very scared about next year... about being so far away and all. This isn't the first time I thought about it this way, but it hit me a bit harder than usual for some reason.

I almost wept openly today when I was talking to my cousin who visited me in school today. He just happened to be around, so dropped by for a little chat. I was asking him about our little cousins, Reuben, who's 4, and Reagan, who's 2.

He was just filling me in about how much naughtier they are now, and he was telling me how Reuben can actually log on to the internet, go to and look for his favourite website.

"I'm not kidding! He can type in, then search for Bob the Builder, and click and then play the games!"

For some reason or other, I just really felt like crying.

It's not because I'm sad, it's because I just miss them so much.

This is just like the other time two sems ago when I cried at Clementi bus interchange because I saw a bus that would take me straight home.

I must admit it doesn't really take a lot for me to cry, but I guess I'm worried that I'll really be so homesick that I'll cry too much in Bangladesh.

Of course, right now actually I do think that i can take it. But there's a little nagging doubt that I won't be able to.

HIYAH. I can lah!

So I called my mom, who was telling me a story about how my dad attended the wrong class for three days in a row without anyone realising.

It's funny actually. He's a policeman, and they have these upgrading course for them. 3 days ago, my dad smsed me to tell me "eh ur pa is in a class for CREATIVE THINKING"

And I was just wondering why the hell they'd send a guy about to retire in 2 months to that kind of class.

And today I found out that my dad's boss had called him sounding pissed "hock lay! you attended the wrong class!"

My mom was telling me how my dad, as part of the course, had to draw a Batman kinda mask on his face and go out to the CBD area for lunch with his fellow coursemates, Spiderman and Weirdo.

I just feel so happy listening to all this. Sometimes, I question family. I would think that I dislike the notion of being obliged and "tied" to something which I had not chosen to be "tied" to. It's an element of burden and unvolunteered obligation that I had issues with.

But my head cannot deceive my heart.