Thursday, November 04, 2004

44 days: This is terrible news

In a rather pensive mood, but not thinking about anything in particular. Think it's because of the music. Maybe I just feel kinda vulnerable, that's all.

Speaking of which, I have to say that NSync's This I Promise You is my favourite boyband track.

Don't laugh lah, boybands and their songs can be considered as separate entities sometimes.

It's nice to see a friend in love, or having a crush. It's nice to hear people say all these unconditionally wonderful things about other people. How every little thing they say or do is so great and wonderful.

I'm envious. Who doesn't want to be worshipped like that?

But i know it doesn't last. It only happens at the beginning.

I'm just feeling kinda sad, that the only times I hear that kind of things said about me from someone that I love, is after I've stopped loving them, and when we're no longer together. Or how those words suddenly disappear after we get together.

Am I being demanding? I don't know. I just know this is how I feel right now.

Don't wait people. If you love someone, tell them everyday. It's bullshit when they say it means less when you say it more. Say it if you mean it, and if you mean it, it doesn't matter how many times you tell them. They deserve to hear it.

This game has no rules.

I've already sort of concluded I cannot play the game with all its rules. I'm incapable of plotting, scheming, planning. I can't try to be someone I'm not. If I miss you, I'll say it. If I'm thinking of you, I'll say it. But the more I say it, the more it's taken for granted. But can I stop saying them? Why should I?

All this doesn't matter, in the larger scheme of things. But on this late night, when I'm sitting in my room alone, and Sinatra is playing, when I suddenly have this overwhelming sense of smallness, it does seem to mean something.