Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Oh. My. God.

Ok fine, so I officially flipped out and went and had myself a panic attack last night, an event which I'm certain was fueled by a certain hormonal imbalance referred to as PMS or PISSING-ME-OFF ( I know it doesn't fit, but does it matter? DOES IT?)
I've realised that I may be over-using the whole PMS bit, but is it not telling when you wake up the next morning feeling fine (and balanced) and wonder to yourself "What the fuck was that all about?"
Nevertheless, I had a panic attack. Which totally overrules the previous entry. Which makes me feel like a complete loser. But hey. It's just this one time.
And after the brouhaha last night (well it was a private type of bhh) I just feel kinda embarrassed because six months is nothing like a year nothing like 4 years.
But after reading EMJEM's back entries about his apprehension etc etc... I think this will be a very strange occurance indeed. Don't ask me to elaborate because I can't. Anyway, his blog is better now that he stopped trying so hard to show off.
But after a bit of scouring around the net at various websites like Friendster and random blogs, I can't help but feel as if my move to Dhaka is in a opposite direction. Everyone's escaping upwards, I'm moving down.
So I can't relate to the blogs which whine about isolation in cities and white frat boys getting pissed drunk. And I cannot relate to the discomfort of having to travel for thousand of hours just to get from London to Amsterdam.
It's like everyone's striding towards these shining gleaming twin glass doors and passing through, while I'm sneaking to the back of the room like Alice and looking for my little wooden door.
Of course I'm just fulfilling stereotypes here that West = big nice glass doors and Others = little wooden doors, but that's called imagination running away with me.
And that's kind of the problem of having gone to RJC, where people you know fall into a few categories:
1. Stinking Rich with Big Car and House in Holland Road/Bukit Timah/ one of the Districts
2. On Scholarship in Brown/Oxford/Cambridge/UCLA/Harvard/Cornell whatever
3. In NUS Medicine
4. Others
I'm not joking. But then again I didn't know EVERYONE in RJ, so let's change the title to "People that Jess knows".
Anyway, the point is I feel much better today though I haven't cried myself to sleep for a long time. Explanation? Hormonal imbalance lah.
Anyway this is the real reason why I wanted to blog.
Ladies and Gentleman, the first movie to make me drool has arrived.
See, I was actually getting excited about watching Meet the Fockers (Ben Stiller won my vote after Zoolander), and Kung Fu Hustle looked like a good way to waste an otherwise empty afternoon. And I already saw Ocean's Twelve.
And then, someone alerted me to the first movie that I will buy premier tickets for.
Why am I making such a big deal about this?
I have two names for you.
proudly presents:
Wah lau i'm FUCKING drooling CAN?
The poster is gorgeous. The lead star is gorgeous. The director (minus planet of apes) is gorgeous. The lady (Helena B. Carter no less!!!!!!!) is gorgeous. The book which I read like a fucking million times is gorgeous. I'm drooling and i can't stop raving about it OH MY GOD.
I'm sorry but surreal movies have always made me very happy. Think Big Fish, think Beetlejuice, think Edward Scissorshands, think Nightmare before Christmas.
It's all very delicious to me. *slurp*
Go Yahoo and watch the trailers. Go Go GO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, it occured to me that my strange feeling of resentment towards Ah Hsien and his Daddy 'O' is just the level of "coddlement" at which they operate at.
Don't you feel coddled? As a Singaporean of course this is nothing new but everytime I see his stupid face on the front of the newspaper I feel like it's some distant relative like an uncle I hardly see but everytime I see him he tries to give me advice as if he's so damn smart and can lead my life for me.
Ya I get that feeling.
And it's not helping that ST is plastering their faces everywhere.
It's terrible how LKY and Ah Chok can take up full pages in ST's Commentary and Analysis pages with their speeches, when what I REALLY want to read is, er, a Commentary and Analysis on their speech?
Never the mind.
But I have heard fabulous things about the free press in Dhaka, so I will be trying to wriggle my way into that as well.
I have to buy a new laptop. The HP guy called me to give me my evaluation and price quotation. He gave me advice after telling me it'll cost over $1k to get it fixed. He is hilarious.
"Oh my friends at IBM just called me. They're having very good offers now. Acer also have, in the newspaper."
Employee of the Year, anyone?
I genuinely like the people who have helped me in HP so far. The counter guy was a leftie, and plus he was funny too. That kind of "private joke to myself" smile when I was ranting and raving about the potential mishap that will happen to my dad's wallet. And this engineer. Wow. Engineers are the best. Dilbert is right.


huckerby said...

engineers rock! haha

Anonymous said...

omg u know shawn ban too!

But All JCs are small worlds. :)

I guess you should be in dhaka now?

panaphobic said...

WHO ARE YOU? Anonymous comments are infuriating.. I should know, I leave them to irritate people.