Monday, February 07, 2005

They made us too complicated.

Humans are too complicated. It's nothing new to say this, but I'm starting to get immensely irritated at how some people have masochistic tendancies to complicate themselves and others.

The whole issue of first impressions... whether or not to trust them. I tell myself not to, but I forget sometimes.

And because of the mad rush of new acquantainces recently, I've found many first and rumoured impressions crushed. And the difference is so stark and such complete opposites that I'm extremely irritated.

Maybe leaving things at first impressions while maintaining distance is the best way to go.

Yesterday, I slept at 5.30 am because workaholic Ovick suddenly took an interest in my photos taken at Buriganga River. What was initially supposed to be a brief glance through turned into a five hour long portfolio picking session. He skipped supper AND beer AND tea break just to do that, and I can't quite figure out whether he's realyl that much of a photo-lover or just trying to impress.

Either way, I'm thankful for the help and criticism. It was quite a night to remember really. Five people tired like hell sitting at the Pathshala courtyard, with over 100 photos of mine scattered around us in groups on the floor, people walking through the mess picking up photos to form stories and patterns... debate over what was good or bad about photos, what I should have done etc etc.

But then Rajiv told me that it might not be a good idea to take up Ovick's offer to give me a crash course in developing and print in his own dark room at his house. And he was vague and er rather ominous. So now I'm just confused over what to make out of my first impression of Ovick. Obviously it doesn't sound like the most decent of proposals, but after you've spent 5 hours in the moring talking about work and photography with someone you really don't think twice about another offer to do more work.

FUCK. Will I be this naive forever???

And yes I was aware of the high taxes.. but after speaking to them it doesn't sound like a bad idea. I'm not too sure if it'll work in Singapore though... but none of the Norwegians said they would give up all their welfare privilages to pay less taxes. They don't mind, because they do see the benefits directly.

And yes, I do want to start a photolog soon, but I'm so fucking busy to scan and upload photos... and I've too much and the thought of having to pick through them again makes me cringe. I guess I'll just upload all the touristy snapshops I took, and settle the rest after the workshop in March.

Just for information's sake, for those reading this who I know will ask if they were here with me: Rajiv's Pisces/Aries.

He's got quite a history, which thanks to the many squashed first impressions, I'm unwilling to believe wholeheartedly.

This is what he says:

That he's a theatre activist, and does directing in traditional theatre. This much I belive, because he has friends from there, and knows too much about the local theatre scene.

And he reads a lot, and loves poetry more than books.

He spent a year in India studying the traditional Hindu dance, the one where they wear bells ont their feet. I believe this too, because he demonstrated a bit for us.

He speaks Bangla, English, Urdu and Hindi.

Highly ambitious, and has planned out the next ten years of his life. Work, scholarship to England to finish his Masters, return to Bangladesh to work because "we need more profesionals here."

Plays the flute.

The End.


mangomaiden said...

Were you refering specifically to Rajiv when mentioning the whole thing about first impressions? Pisceans...

panaphobic said...

hi joce...

nah i was referring to almost everyone... and especially rajiv.. cos i spent a month thinking he was an asshole, no thanks to external influences some people might call "Shalini".