Monday, February 20, 2006

FYP be Damned

Untitled-13 copy

"To be concealed, protected, guarded, that is all I have ever truly wanted, to burrow down into a place of womby warmth and cower there, hidden from the sky's indifferent gaze and the harsh air's damagings. That is why the past is just such a retreat for me, I go there eagerly, rubbing my hands and shaking off the cold present and the colder future. And yet, what existence, really, does it have, the past? After all, it is only what the present was, once, the present that is gone, no more than that. And yet." - The Sea.

When I am stressed, I either fantasize about the future or think about the past. Anything to enter the Land of Escapism, of which I am its Queen.

And I guess because I've done the former, that I find my brain moving back to, where else, Banglaland.

Oh to drink tea on a street corner again.


I had not been in a socially awkward situation for a long time, until this afternoon. Something about being surrounded by strangers in a place that I had no business to be in.

I suppose it was rather odd for me, one of them remarked my face was white, which it was, but not because I was scared, but perhaps just completely nervous by virtue of being the odd one out. I recognised more than half of them either from the work they had done or simply because they're a friend of a friend. So it was a strange situation of knowing, yet not knowing.

But I am utterly grateful that everyone has been remarkably patient with my endless questions on printingpaperhangingmountinglaminationprintersexhibitingblahblahblah. Had to put on thicker skin, but I seem to be growing into it quite nicely.

One fine day, when I am finally in a better place (professionally) I will invite all the people who have patiently helped me to a nice nice buffet. A certain Uncle KC will obviously be at the head of the table. Even if it takes me 10 years to have enough finances to finance such a big meal, I will!

I hope they show up, though.


Tym said...

Were you at Obj? See you tonight, anyway :)