Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Different perspectives


Everything's a little bit blurry these days. Like Clementine said, "I feel like I'm always pissy now. I don't like myself when I'm with him. I don't like myself anymore."

Of course, I'm "him". I'm Joel. I'm making myself pissy, and I don't like myself very much anymore like this.

The big question then, is - Why? I don't quite know the answer myself, suffice to say that I am spending a lot of time thinking about my short fuse. Unhappiness is always a lot easier to deal with when there's a reason for it, no matter how stupid it may be. In fact, the stupider it is, the easier to deal with it.


Another random crossing of paths. Meet Antoine, 24-year-old photographer from France. Sleeping in a hammock in Goa, cycling through northern India on a bicycle and heading to study taiqi in Beijing.

While the hippie lifestyle always has its attractions for obvious escapist reasons, I felt somewhat relieved that his travelling tales didn't quite evoke in me that same jealous sense of wanting to leave as it may have before. I figure I'm the sort who would want to travel with a purpose in mind.

"I was so amazed to find all these good bicycles in Singapore! All these brands.. very good, very solid bicycles."
"What's so strange about that? You have them in France as well."
"Yes... but there are mountains in France."

I thought it was funny.

He urged me to leave. When I'm "still young" and can "sleep anywhere".


On a pissy note, it never ceases to amaze me how grown-up adults still engage in gossip. I don't deny that I gossip, but I find it difficult to fathom how a stranger's life makes for good conversation fodder.