Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Phase 0.1

I feel a bit like Bridget Jones, or at least what I can vaguely remember of the character from the book and movie.

I remember she had these sudden spurts of motivation to engage in Self Improvement (diet, exercise, happy thoughts etc) which would inevitably end in Failure after the original motivation for the action (A Man) somehow came in to destroy what he started.

So Bridget and I have very different motivations. Hers = A Man (Even if she doesn't admit it). Me = My Sanity?

Just today I attended a fitness class and lapped up the final chapter of one of 17 books purchased at the Library Book Sale.

Exercise and Reading! Say it ain't so!

Before you know it, I'd have entered Phase Two and taken up all sorts of sports, start running at East Coast every other day, signed up to be a volunteer helping Unfortunate Souls, find a renewed love for brocolli and removed all complex carbohydrates from my diet. Phase Three would include a Divorce from my longtime partner Procrastination (we just ain't right together baby) and the discovery of Goodness Within Myself And All Others Even Those Who Are Really Pricks.

(previous sentence a grammatical nightmare, i know)

The fitness class was named "Modern Dance Fitness". But something that torturous must be at least slightly medieval. I never knew how much energy walking required until I had none left and, well, couldn't walk quite right.

I was quite glad for the rundown-ness of the place. Its very very tacky, but I like it. For some reason I can't quite fathom, thinking of myself in the middle of Shenton Way at one of those Branded Yoga Centres amidst swirling clouds of lavender chiffon curtains and scented candles make me feel a tad bit sick.

Two of the women in the class really stood out. They were the oldest amongst the 12 or so of us, wearing the least clothes and undeniably the fittest.

Truth be told, I felt like a bit of a psychomotorfuckwit and consoled myself by convincing my tired and gullible mind that these women probably have been doing it for years.

Clad in sports bras and track pants (all very bright and cheery coloured) they moved to the beat even when the rest of us already started kneeling on the floor in pain.

Later on, they left together. One had changed out of her track pants into working pants and a pair of stilettos. I couldn't help but cock my head in wonder as I watched her sashay out in her sports bra and killer heels.

Yesterday, after calling me 'weak', the teacher had poked my stomach and said firmly "And this. This has got to go!"

I've already cut down on beer, more out of No Chance To Drink rather than Choice. I can't cut down on food, because, well.. its just not an option. I already removed KFC as a essential food group and I am not compromising anymore.

Ok wait, I've to clarify. I am not trying to lose weight. I am (as mentioned earlier) trying to maintain sanity. I feel lembeh and sluggish and I hate not being able to button pants properly.

So THERE. That's my motivation.

I give it a month.


Just something from Chinatown.

Marching Ahead Together