Saturday, August 05, 2006

The Scars of Hygiene

So yes, I did complete two out of three on the previous To-Do List (hooray!), substituting the last point for a TripleHomeSpecialCombo (One Time Offer Only!) consisting of the ever delightful Vacumn That Damn Floor together with the Change The Damn Sheets and Clear Your Damn Room package.

Sure is nice to see tiles again.

It was time for a clean up. Yes Cat, that includes you as well. This house's Hygiene Chart ranks Soap+Water above Saliva. Surely, even you can see the logic in that.

Cleanliness is overrated

Erm, ok. Clearly not.

Huimei says that cats are rendered too unhappy by the prescene of water to do anything else other than express that unhappiness.

This would explain why all my battlescars are from AFTER the bath and not during.

It is really quite heartbreaking to hear her yowl her lungs out in the toilet. I feel sorry for my neighbours. I would not want to live next to a house that sounds like a temporary torture chamber for harmless domesticated animals.

So she alternates between seeking refuge in the corner and scrabbling at the door. I've learnt an early, and painful, lesson about how Cat will seek the highest ground - my head - to get away from water so I keep watch for telltale pouncing signs. My skin does not a good ladder make.

After the painful first lesson I've resorted to wearing JEANS during her bathtime so that I can hold her still in my lap while I scrub and rinse. Denim's the thickest material around the house to protect my knees from the claws hanging on to it for dear life. When they invent steel pants, I'm running out and buying a pair.

However, her passiveness in the toilet quickly mutates into sheer, unbridled anger when she's placed in the drying-room (cage).

Now that the water's gone, she has the prescene of mind to see that the person who put her throught 15 minutes of agony is still in front of her and rationally concludes that I am waiting for my just punishment.

Battle Scars

I know she's not a dog, but she sure is a bitch.