Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Of Mice and Men

Too many things to say, and I've already forgotten half of it.

It's late, I've bike lesson assessment tomorrow. Today I held the fuckin' clutch for so long my left hand started to go numb. It's ridiculous. I've held off going for this because I want to pass on the first try. So I keep going for circuit revision. All exams should be this way.

The blog title is slightly misleading, because there will be no mention of men in this post.

I've wanted to say something about this particular incident, but I couldn't think of a way to put it. I'll still end up sounding like a preachy, righteous bitch. So there, there's your disclaimer.

And anyway, my memory (and anger) have been somewhat diminished by the passing of time.

The issue has got something to do with male ego, and how I'm sick and tired of it. But that's just a small part. It's largely inconsequential. Many guys get away with their egos because it's harmless. I can tolerate displays of machoism simply because it's so common it's difficult not to get used to it. Like how my colleague puts it, "You want to know why? Because I'm a man."

But really, this is about stupidity and irresponsibility. It's about me feeling judgemental and self-righteous and losing respect for ccertain individuals.

We had a party of sorts earlier in the week, resulting in typical intoxication. There was one particular guy who had drunk more than his fair share, till the point whereby he was slurring and couldn't stand straight.

And he was driving home.

I'm hoping to be able to ride a bike. My father rides a bike to work everyday. I've countless other family and friends who drive or ride. So even if you discount the selfishness (of me not wanting to die), I have motivation because I really don't want anyone (strangers included) to die because some asshole was too macho/cheap to call a cab.

And so this is the point of this post. I just want to say, once and for all:

That all you fuckers who drink and drive, and all you fuckers who let your friends drink and drive - you are all unbelievably stupid and irresponsible.

So in this particular episode, after the drunk guy went to the bathroom, I asked his "friends" whether or not he was driving. And when they said yes, I asked if perhaps it was not such a good idea to let him do so.

This is what one of his "friends" said to me, irritably and loudly:

"I don't give a fuck! He's not going to bring in any money for us anyway!"

This asshole was drunk as well, although not as much as the other guy. The alcohol in his blood made him feel liberated, and he had no qualms about speaking his mind. Just as well, one less person to respect in office.

And just minutes ago, he was ranting on about how he did whatever he wanted to do, wife-be-damned. "Hey! A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do" were his exact words.

I went into the restaurant and asked the waitress for some help. She gave me a class of fizzy soda water, which was supposed to make Mr Drunk Driver feel better. I tried my best to force it on him (I don't know him at all) when he came out, but he got confused and thought I was making him drink more.

The tussle ended soon enough, and he took a tiny tiny sip before heading out to sit with his "friends". But this time, he could barely keep his eyes open.

I stood next to him, like a fucking moron, cajoling him to drink while all his "friends" - whom I didn't know either - pretended to ignore me. It wasn't really working, he couldn't even hold the glass for long.

The painfully awkward scene continued for a while more, till all of them left. I asked one last time, "Do you want a cab?" Drunk dude said he was fine. Sure, of course, aren't they always?

I can't remember when he left, but he did. And still, I tried again. I asked his 'friend', the one who (money=how concerned I should be), if we should try to get him a cab.

I can't remember what he ranted at me, more "i don't give a fuck"s and other things that I must've blocked out of my head because of the sheer stupidity.

I replied, that I didn't really care either if the guy died, but I don't want him to knock down someone like my father while on the road.

Then he said, "Look! I'm not a saint!"

I turned and walked away as he continued, only stopping after he realised I was no longer listening.

I don't know what to think about it. I'm disgusted and slightly upset, because I didn't know what to do. I hate the thought that the same scene if replaying every night at pubs and bars all over Singapore. I wish I didn't have to witness such behaviour, because as it is, I don't really think much of the male species, and this is not helping.

They should have a police hotline or something, to call when this kind thing happens. I couldn't have possibly manhandled his car keys away from him.

Are there really such people around? Was that friend of his talking nonsense because he was drunk? Did he really willingly let a guy go off to his potential death because he was not a potential money tree?

I just keep meeting assholes. I never knew there were so many of these kinda bastards around. What kind of world did I think existed? It's not good, it makes me cynical. And I just haven't learnt how to deal with them, how to put on a smile and pretend I don't feel that overwhelming sense of disgust that fills me when I look at you.

Of course, there are guys I know who would never drink and drive, and who would never allow their friends to do so. I am thankful to know such people.

I just hope no one died last night because I didn't have the guts to be a bigger bitch than I already was.


gopi said...

thats fucked up man.seriously.sorry u couldnt do much.i wont drink n drive ok>?