Saturday, February 23, 2008

A Time To Breathe.

There is a beautiful magpie on the tree next to where I now sit on the roof, singing its heart out. I came up here to be alone, if only for a minute, but even that seems impossible as various parties have appeared and tried to peer over my shoulder.

I'm at a loss for words, if only because there's so much I want to say. I haven't had the time to blog much these days - funny things happen when you're employed in four different jobs and try to cope without compromising on sleep.

This morning I dreamt I was in Singapore, in my estate. God knows what I was doing, but I woke up with a lingering feeling of familiarity - the way I would visit the kopitiam downstairs to buy coffee before rushing off to Emerald Hill in the morning, the way I would have my duck rice or prawn noodles before being late for 3pm shift on pix desk.

That kind of feeling is associated with a routine which I considered to be my quality alone time - a routine I haven't been able to establish here. Really, there isn't much of a routine to speak of these days. This is something I should celebrate, since I always make it a point to pick unpredictability over routine on all those time-wasting personality tests I did in the past.

I feel as if I need something. As if, everyday, I wake up and spend the day looking and searching for something. I can't find it - how could I, if I don't know what it is I'm looking for?

I loathe to say this, but I think maybe what I need is a break. A break from everything - including myself.

This is totally related to my buying 'spree' yesterday when I bought a ridiculously priced bottle of Parmesan cheese.


Tym said...

Why is the parmesan cheese in a bottle??

panaphobic said...

it's one of those easy-shake dispensers!!!

mangomaiden said...

i know just how u're feeling

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