Wednesday, July 16, 2008

It's been a crazy couple of days. Everything's been generally swell, thanks to the happy-feelings-maker located somewhere in this apartment. But a particular person's making my mood swing all over the place and all I can do right now is just to sit back and think, not again. It had reached that stage whereby I was so afraid to be 100% happy because I knew there was no where else to go but down.

Regardless, I'm just spending some time to settle in and hopefully use this as a chance to refresh my focus on things.

Invigilated yet another mid-term exam today and the same shit happened. I'm just extremely disappointed, which just means that I had expected better of my students. Actually, I just expected common sense. But some of them pulled the same shit again. By the end of the thing I was so pissed off I decided not to say anything at all lest I utter words I regret.

But it was ridiculous. Going up and talking to a student about a question he had, I had to turn my back on the rest of them in our tiny classroom. Immediately the whispers started all around me. This happened a couple more times till I finally gave up. And I hate to have to use this word, but that was just a really stupid thing to do.

Some conversations will have to be had in private. It's just so disappointing to have to be forced to become a bigger bitch than I already am.

I refrained from passing any comments or voicing any opinions when a friend of mine talked about paying rickshaw wallahs more. I have no problems with people who want to do that, it is after all a personal choice. What I do not like, however, is talking as if what you are doing is the only right thing to do, and making me feel like I'm doing something wrong if I don't do it too.