Ok so here's the deal. I've been a real wreck the past two days. I've done nothing but to sit at home in some kind of completely paralysed state procrastinating on everything that I have to do (which is a lot) watching and downloading god knows how many episodes of Grey's Anatomy.
And I watch myself in this horrible state of what I call loserish-ness like some concerned, appalled third party, seeing myself growing more and more stressed at the amount of work which I fail to do and yet cannot still unable to find any will to do it.
Oh boy, I really wish they gave out prizes on procrastination. Then at least I'd have something to show for it.
And now, having wasted another day, I am so completely stressed out I resorted to a shot of tequila at FOUR in the afternoon.
This is all completely my fault. Lack of discipline, lack of self control, lack of a sense of responsibility.
And you know what? No matter how stressed I am ( I suspect it will get worse) I still don't care. My heart's racing, not because of too much coffee, but because I know all these FYP things I gotta do and haven't gotten around to doing, I'm ready to tear my hair out and yell at people, but I still don't care.
I'm not depressed or sad, I'm not in some kinda self-pitying state. I feel like I'm in some kind of state of denial, but I don't know denial over what.
Maybe I just need a good tight slap. I thought Shyam delivered that (in spirit) the last time, but I guess I'm so incorrigible I need it on a regular basis.
