More cats.

Let me know when I'm overdoing it. Cats cats cats.

-----------------------

Called back at the last minute today to do work, which thrills me because every job I get I take it as a sign that I haven't fucked up that badly yet. But today was excruciating because I had to use flash, which I loathe. I swear if they give me more night jobs to do, they're eventually going to figure out they hired a dud of a photographer and fire me.

Its quite fun being silly in the newsroom at midnight when there's no one around to shush at us.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Kitty's curled up in a corner on my bed, I wonder if she dreams and what she could possibly dream about. There's just something about her, I could lie there and stare at her for as long as she sleeps.

I find it so hard to believe sometimes, that this is the same kitten I picked scabs and fleas off six months ago. I'm unbelievably lucky to have her here with me.

"You know, people underestimate the value of a good ramble." -Buffy

I was notified that someone in Sunnyvale, California paid a (short) visit to my blog. And I got all excited because I thought it read 'Sunnydale', which as you all know is home to the nicest collection of jackets, coats and boots on television.

Man, I wish Buffy would come kick me in the ass for not buying the DVDs when I was in Bangladesh.

I miss that show :( I mean, I think ALL the men on the show are attractive! The goofball, the cynic, the librarian, the macho man, the tortured soul, the erm werewolf (xander, spike, giles, riley, angel, oz).

Just one of my all time favourite photos.

Purr.

I have been trying for the past hour to change the irrelevant 565 green thingy at the top.. but my brain's too tired to try any longer.

See lah, this is what happens when you try to run (changing bkgrounds) before you can crawl (basic html).

So I shall just settle for posting photos of The Cat.

Dammit.

Diya shows off the only 2 things Brits are good for.

Heh. Just kidding, lah.








I did not realise it when I went out yesterday, but I did at 5 am when the Ex sent me a message, that it has been a month since the walls collapsed and the waters rushed in and blahblahblah...

Only a month? One bloody month? And I had thought i was doing so well, so busy with everything and feeling independent and in-love with my single self and blahblahblah... but it has only been a month.

This is just one of those days when I cannot be bothered to maintain the facade.. the "i-don't-need-nobody-sista" facade which I put right out there while The Voice in my head giggles softly at how ridiculously convincing self denial can be.

Ya but today, I just cannot be bothered to pep talk myself. I'm tired.

I'm tired of how everything seems so bland these days, that I know this really should be one of the happiest times in my life because I love what I do, and how I desparately want to enjoy every nanosecond of it but its all just so bland. Its utterly frustrating and I feel really stupid that I cannot control it, letting one segment of my life ruin the rest of it.

Its like eating good food with a stuck nose. Horrid.


*I promise not to let this down time last past 5 pm today*

What a trip

I accidentally removed the wrong plug when trying to fix up the iron and unplugged the computer instead.. and now my earlier post is all gone.

No matter.

Here's a summary:

1. A survey guy from IDA pissed me off because he took the liberty of filling in some answers on my behalf. On my behalf. Oh.. the nerve.

2. Work was great. Because I got to see old friends again. And some of the pix desk people remembered me (not without some jolt to the 'ol memory cache) so I didn't have to go through the excruciating 'hi-lets-introduce-yourself-and-make-inane-jokes-about-stringers' round.

3. I had no food the whole day till 5 pm and it felt great. Because I was actually WORKING.

So yes, just a memory/keepsake as my first ever photo for a commercial newspaper. I don't know which one they use, or if they're even gonna use it.

But dammit the sugar glider in the centre is so DAMN CUTE I could dip it in chocolate sauce and gobble it up. And as a person who strongly feels that one of her greatest flaws is not being a vegetarian.. that's a.. compliment.. i think.


And kitty shows just what she thinks of Steve Irwin.

And that's no g'day to yau you drongo whacka! I love freaking Australians out by immediately associating them with this dude.

Its more or less confirmed, the terror begins tomorrow.

And as usual, I don't know the details before I go to work. ALWAYS like that. They'd think i didn't need the money. But I do! I want to treat myself to lamb at Jerry's which was so heavenly... so so... sigh...

Also, I never get sick of sarcasm (unless its malicious! there's a difference):

Malcolm: "I think we can hook you up to a D2H... if you break it, you pay for it."
Me: "I'll probably just sell my body and soul to the company, do you think that'll do?"
Malcolm: "Sorry, but you've already done that."

*weak laughter* its still funny lah, until it becomes true, anyway.

And today, at the cost of $1.55 + $1.10 (reservation fee + MRT fare) I got this for 2 weeks:

Up up and away!

Moolah coming in!!!!!!!!! Make way make way....

I think its mostly settled, although the details are not quite ironed out yet, and i'll be doing a temp/freelance stint at ST pix desk during the holidays. Hopefully others will be joining me...

I was excitedly trying to make Malcolm (who did the pseudo-interview) remember that mini conversation we had along Cross St. in a cab after some assignment on Boy Scouts.. when I was telling him enviously that I wish I were in his shoes. Of course he didn't AT ALL, but I do and that's what matters.

I don't remember why I was always envious of the photogs... I don't remember if I had that a la burning passion to pick up a camera.. if it were that strong, surely I'd remember it right?

Oh well, it doesn't matter anyway. Anyway when he called my hp by mistake like an hour later, and I said.. no this is not Wilson, this is Jessica.. he said "oh my god" and I realised that the mention of my name to people above the age of 35 typically results in the utterance of that phrase. "oh my god".

I should consult someone about that.. ask me and I'll tell you how it really sounds like!

Made the mandatory stop by the home desk, and said hi to Bertha first. It's like CNY visiting.. you always say hi to the lao da first, otherwise you no show respect leh!

Had lunch with Dom, who exudes Dilbertism (now that I've watched the DVDs I can make the link) even before noon. But the look on his face after hearing me respond to his "how's the husband" question was utterly priceless, and quite made my day.

The hpb oughta go after ST pple to quit smoking first. If they can succeed with the entire of level 2/3, i'd say they have their game going on.


Anyhow, things are looking up. I'm meeting Shyam tomorrow, I start work soon... finally some semblance of a routine that I could get used to.

My brain's pretty fried. Too much Stephen King. Too much blog surfing. After 2 hours of surfing Singaporean photogs' blogs.. my nerves are worse than ever. Fuck. On the game on the game!

Sighting sighting!

Yes yes yes I know it's almost 4 am, and I've to wake up really soon, but I just had to post this. Miyagi has been.. Crystalled!

"Last week, a Crystal (is your middle name Jade?) Chan from the New Paper emailed and then called me to ask me some questions, mostly about whether there were differences between Singaporean and American bloggers.... "

Please don't ask me why I got excited about this. I get excited when my cat's ears twitches.


I went for my first supper at Geylang today. I feel like I oughta get a badge or something, or like check off a list of "Things All Singaporeans Usually Do".

But but... I don't want to be half and half! Although technically, we all are not entirely male/female... but ya you know what I mean.

The $100 Tangs voucher is gone, because if you want to FORCE me to spend money, I will gladly concede.

The shopping trip today was one of the weirdest ever. Here we are, holding a free voucher, and simple unable to find the will to spend it. It's not that there was NOTHING to buy, my mom got it quite wrong.

It's because we don't usually shop, and when we do, it's functional shopping aka - i need a pair of sandals so i'll get a pair. But today, we didn't really need anything, see, so we were both quite helpless at the prospect of getting something we DON'T need.

But of course, you can always trust me to kick the NEED into WANT gear. After mom declined vehemently to get a $99 Timex watch (I can buy 10 of those anywhere with that price!!!) I erm well, bought myself a pair of shoes.

And she tried to dispel the guilt by saying it was my birthday present.

OK! Whatever it takes man.

Man oh man, I could buy shoes to fill my room if I had the vouchers for it.

Righto.

"If you're a boy, you should be working. If you're a girl, you should have a boyfriend. You don't have any! You're not a boy, or a girl!"

- Nazrul comes to a stunning conclusion.

Marching On

Not that anyone I know is any different, but I'm really no good with breakups. I'm not sure if it gets easier with experience, but I can attest that the lack of it doesn't help.

I'm just very glad I'm not the sort to turn to food for comfort.

But as was saying to all the unfortunate people who had to listen at some time or other, it doesn't seem quite right that I haven't been properly alone for the past half a decade, and that mustn't be a very healthy thing.

Does the word "mustn't" even exist??

But I'm also very glad that my friends are very realistic and pragmatic people who will discourage any form of self-pity/whining/general-wallowing/listening to sappy music. =)

And a trip to Borders really makes me wish a truck would come along and dump a shitload of moolah on me to spend. Other than the Get Fuzzy paraphernalia, there's also all the Banville books, all the Stephen King's Gunsligher series, and other assorted very yummy things.

If you so happen to be a Stephen King fan, I would like to inform you that the new National Library actually bothered to stock up with multiple copies of most of his stuff. Try your best NOT to look at the "Changing Faces of Terrorism" exhibition, but if you must, try to refrain from reading anything. Just look at the pictures.

They did not, however, bother to do the same for Get Fuzzy, and I had to spend the $1.55 to place reservations. It's worth it though.

The Orchard Road lightup is not very good, but I think its become an instinctive thing to diss the decorations. I no longer have a "good" to hold up as a standard. And I realised that the "God of Fortune" hat has GOT to be a ribbon on you get on top of a present. I find it hard to imagine it as anything else.

Also, I'm not sure if anyone will believe this, but my mom and dad collectivlye FAILED to spend a $100 voucher at CK Tangs. In my mom's own words, "I really couldn't find anything!" My brother made three trips there, and returned all three times still with the voucher. There is something VERY wrong with that shopping centre.

*wry smile*

Er ok I admit it. It's true! I follow the ANTM website! And I really do care who wins the new season!!!!! (And it'd better not be Nicole).

Heh.

And it gives me little tingles of celebrity-sighting-type-infantile-pleasure that Elysse from Season 1 thinks that SIA is "the world's best airline". I always liked her form of bitchiness on the show.














I do NOT read too many blogs. Bleah.

Late last night and the night before,
Tommyknockers, Tommyknockers,
knocking at the door.
I want to go out, don't know if I can,
'cause I'm so afraid
of the Tommyknocker man.


Update:

It's 23:14 - No reply yet.

I have been avidly following the Dawn Yeo/Yang saga. Wow. People are nasty.

As of 1.30 am, Tuesday, November 15 2005 - Shyam has not replied me. An enlightened source tells me he flies to Sri Lanka on Wednesday.


I'm very sorry to all the people who has had to bear my talk about this incident. But not sorry enough to stop it. =p Thanks lah.


Kitty just gave me a bad scratch. She was tangled in a plastic bag that wouldn't "let go" of her, and she was duly distressed. It makes me feel so sad, I wish she didn't have to feel so helpless.


I really wonder when I will stop jumping when my phone beeps with a msg after midnight, and think that it means more than it always turns out to be.

Unprofessional Jess

Well yes, here's some news.

Prof Shyam called me to stay back after a very awkward group FYP meeting the other day to express his utter displeasure at my "unprofessional behaviour" and "lack of discipline" and that "he has consulted the committee and is on the verge of dropping me from FYP".

Er.. ya. I think this is the MOST trouble I've been in for my entire academic life, save for that trip to the principal's office in St Nicks when they found I had set up some kinda anti-teacher voting website.

He said he'll make the final decision on Monday, which I intend to accept entirely.

From our conversation, during which I was extremely upset, I gathered that the key issue here is that:

1. I'm "always late"
2. I "do not show up for class"
3. I don't take my work seriously.

And that he "does not wish to work with someone who is not capable of professional conduct".

So until I find out on Monday what is going to happen to me, I'm reserving personal comments.

Er ya I'm ok now.

Joolin The Man

Characters involved:

1. Joolin, Teh
2. hows-the-curry-PH
3. assorted friends
4. Vodka and A&W rootbeer
5. A deck of cards


Set up:

PH suggested introducing stakes when we were playing tai-ti (???). This involves everyone topping up a common cup with alcohol, and the loser at the end with the most cards will drink it.

The Plan:

Joolin the man decides to rig the cards so that PH will end up drinking. When PH goes to get the drinks, Joolin proceeds with his masterful plan.

The Build-Up:

Joolin pours HALF a cup of vodka while the table sniggers at PH's fate. PH laments "wah lau! my cards are damn bad!" GQ turns red trying to control her laughter. PH decides to pass on adding into the cup (as the rest of us did).

The Fall:

In a spectacular game, holding nothing higher than a '10', PH deals TWO sets of 5 cards... and yes. Joolin loses the game.


Joolin is THE MAN.

Deelicious news!

Diya is heading to Singapore and I'm estatic. I don't know why exactly... but ya I'm estatic.

On a cold night in a guesthouse in Bangladesh, Diya and I put frozen beer cans in boiling water in an attempt to melt the beer because we were stupid enough to have left them in the freezer for too long... and proceeeded to hack away at the can to try to get it open so as to get out as much of the half-mush beer as possibly possible. Erm.. a chopper and a knife are deemed insufficient materials to open an alumnium can safely.

The results? Beer-slurpee... which is NOT good.

But ya, I'm estatic. Diya!!!!

On a dark and stormy night, Alvin...

Alvin's trying to be placid. And I totally support that! I am an avid supporter of placidity-niceness-all-round.

So Alvin, these are some statements for you to practice your "placid-ness" on.

1. I believe that Journalism can change the world. And Truth comes with a capital "T".

2. I believe that there is a white-picket-fences-happy-ever-after.

3. I believe that optimistic people are the smartest people around.

4. I believe in the good in people.

5. I believe that you can always trust and depend on your friends to be there for you.


For the record, three out of the five are accurate (as far as what I believe anyway). Chew on THAT.





It isn't easy, I don't need to pretend that it is.

At various points in my short life so far I always end up back at the doomsday-teenage-pessimism statement of "you can't rely on anyone for happiness but yourself".

But I think during this return trip, instead of arriving on a dark and stormy night soaked and miserable and lonely, its coming back wrapped in a neutral-beige white wrapper with a twig of wild flowers and scrawled in friendly pencil-writing.

And that really isn't such a bad thing.

I'm all a-tingling with the prospect of being able to spend a full day reconfiguring the blog, colours/words/tags/sidebars/table widths etc.

The way I'm with tech is the way i was with science (aka physics and chem) in secondary school - I don't know/understand what I'm doing, but I manage to get it done anyway.

Its a real blessing I suppose, since the periodic table scares the shit out of me and don't even get started on what's protons and neutrons and electrons and covalent bonds AHHHHH.. but I still managed to get an A. The wonders of blind mugging.

But ya I like fiddling with HTML (have not advanced) and seeing what's there to do.

Manbitch Alvin: the 565 was part of the template design lah. Don't ask me what it means.



Am procrastinating at Macdonalds (oh the horror!) but sigh I have been sold out by the 24-hourness of it all because I hate having to stop studying when I don't want to.

And hows-the-curry PH is here as well, cursing at Greenwalt.

"Ya lah, and then the girl with the mole fly up and push him down into the spikes."

It's quite something to wake up and hear your mom say those words. Damn these Sunday morning period dramas.

Procrastination Version 3.2

After a crazy 12-hour marathon photoshop/indesign orgy I'm glad to announce that I can start studying.

I don't know how certifiably Singaporean this makes me, but I actually like studying. But only and only if there's a really nice open air bench (with a wall to lean on), a coffee machine/shop nearby for emergency purchases, and a good buddy to watch my things when I need to go to the toilet.

Its just so calming. Everything has to be so organised, files books notes readings... coffee on the right, laptop on the left, the occasional food binge/surprise from visiting fellow-studiers.

I still think the best study place in the whole of Singapore is the canteen in St Nicks. Imagine a huge auditorium with really really high ceilings, rows and rows of benches which you can push together to form a little island for yourself, and an always-open drinks stall that you can buy Ribena at 50 cents, over-looking the track and field... yeah.



I miss Xanga's protected posting. Does it exist on Blogger?? Am I a total tech idiot?

And oh yes, it was time for a change. Kitschy my ass!

Bondhu

Below: Nabir, Nazrul, Mr. Foreman. Saiful cooking in the room.

Although the photos don't show, I think Nazrul minus is moustache and plus a nice fancy get-up, would look very good in some portrait shots.

I've been quite a fan of Break.com (i refuse to use their old name), since they've an EXCELLENT video collection of college pranks.

I'm a big fan of pranks.

I've been following the one below.. its not hilaroius compared to some stand-alone stuff they have, but still! I love the continuity! If I lived in a dorm, everyday would be a nightmare! I'd love it!

Part 1: Crap Attack!



Part 2: Revenge of Milk



("I talked to Jason tonight and he told me the whole house lives in a constant state of paranoia. They cant shower, crap, eat or anything without fearing someone will jump out and scream. Round 3 tomorrow! ") AW man.

Part 3: Revenge.. again..



Heeehee.

Erm. Yeah.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

I swear, ignore the horrible cutesy title and just take the test. It's fun because they only ask questions about animals, and I keep trying to figure out how they linked it.. It IS fairly accurate, and I really like the questions - only because they are the ones I ask people all the time - and no one has bothered to really ask me back, which is silly because I ask the questions because I like the questions.. but nevermind.. go!