k i t s c h y p o t e m k i n

First day at school and i'm already procrastinating on work.

Felt quite claustrophobic in school... just so many bloody people. Doesn't help that I'm pmsing and had a terrible start to the day.

But the thing is, I realised that after three years, I STILL DON'T RECOGNISE SOME PEOPLE.

On the way home, I ran into two schoolmates from primary school that I occasionally bump into and have that random conversation once every couple of years. Apparently, they were "meeting to catch up" and have "been in touch regularly ever since primary school".

I can safely say that I don't keep in touch regularly with ANYBODY from primary school. The most regular would have to be my primary six form teacher - and i haven't spoken to her in at least a year.

And when my friends from secondary school (thank god at least i've some left over from that era) get together to talk about the "old times", i find myself at a complete blank. Complete episodes which they remember so well are totally not in my mind at all.

I don't know why I've always been flitting in and out of places and things in my life to end up with such a poor impression and even worse memory of my past. My memories are all "selfish", in the sense that i only remember things that happened to me. But i know people who can tell me stuff that happened to others, even stuff that happened to me which I forgot about.

Even from JC, which is only 4 years ago... i don't keep in touch with anyone at all. I can barely remember what it was like in class - only if i really sit down and force myself to reconstruct a scene.

I'm just wondering - do i have such a poor regard for human interaction?

I'm just feeling a little perplexed tonight.